TO BE INCARCERATED IN BALTIMORE CITY JAIL:
so like , i drunk drove ----------- [ ultimately a bad move] but in Baltimore
i thought for a young over privileged white girl, there was no rules. i was wrong
central bookings was a piece of cake ----- besides the fact i had to piss in front of my cell mates
and sit, freezing cold on a cement bench. there was Daphney, a local crack head.
She had a nice weave , a monroe piercing, and new balance sneakers. Once I started crying, she consoled me. Telling me I would be out soon. At this point , it was probably 5am on Friday. They kept moving me from cell to cell in central bookings and when I went to the Commissioner I was sure I would be out at noon.

Once again , I was very wrong. The lady told me my bail, 15 thousand dollars.
"Who would you like to call?"
The only person with money who's number I knew by heart, my father. My hero
He was upset, obviously. But he called the Bail Bond place, while in the middle of the woods of North Carolina hunting deer; a vacation from my mother. he did it. At first I told him that he could leave me in there until Monday because my bail would be lowered. When he asked me if I was okay, I busted into tears remembering 15 minutes prior, a big black woman telling me I was going to get raped. The only thing in my stomach was old whiskey and purple drink that they gave me in a plastic sandwich bag.
from here to there, finally they brought me to the real deal  jail.... I was just starting to get comfortable with my home girls in the holding cell. This is when shit really got terrifying....
They brought me to a room filled with dirty mattresses and told me to pick one up. I was walking through a community of junk fiends, whores, every fucking kind of criminal, with this dirty mattress. I got my blood taken and a TB test, this is when i started getting loopy, thinking they were going to copy my DNA, or take my blood for something sketchy. I started pulling out my hair. Getting real nervous
When I got into the cell, I put my hard-don't-fuck-with-me face on, but the inmates totally saw right through me. "You never been here before have you?" (Me, thinking if i had to stay one more night, i would actually go fucking crazy)
They asked me what I did. I told them my bail, Once again the ladies consoled me. Teethless, scary mother fucking jail birds. They were sweet but when I proceeded to mop the cell, they laughed at me calling me Rich Bitch.
I told the officers i was breaking out in a rash so they gave me benadril or howeverthefuck you spell it, and i passed out waiting for my fucking number to be called. When they called it, I thought i was free. Thankfully my friends took all my belongings out of my car when they towed it to impound. I didn't know anyones phone number by heart, ALEX G SAVES THE DAY holding my cellphone ransom.
OH YEAH , didn't even mention the part about getting buck naked infront of everyone and spreading my vagina lips , whilst bent over , they made me cough three times. In my orange jump suit, I felt like Lindsay. Sad and hopeless. The woman after me was clearly on heroin, and had it in her butt cheeks. When i was waiting for all my paperwork to clear in the holding cell, she was mumbling how she was going to be sick, breathing on me. I thought I was going to be sick from counting the tiles on the ceiling and looking at her nodding out, struggling to put on her jail shoes. FINALLY

THEY LET ME FREE AND I HAD TO WAIT FOR MY BELONGINGS

Killian and Alex were waiting for me. Mad love to kill and alex <3
MORAL OF THE STORY ----------- dONT DRUNK DRIVE